Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
