Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize