kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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