Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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