I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
