Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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