found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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