Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
