hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
