this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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