paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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