no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
