she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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