Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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