I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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