remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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