the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize