well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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