i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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