Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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