I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
