I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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