This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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