i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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