It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
