I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
