I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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