Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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