I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
