I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Are we still banned from the library?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
