apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize