stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
