Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
