Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
