I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
