once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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