so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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