Someone shit on the floor
Michael Bay diarrhea
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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