Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
