cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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