i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So much rum. So many feels.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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