Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
