Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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