I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
