so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can I color on your dick again?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
