Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
