so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize