how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
