he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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