im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
