I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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