I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
