if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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