who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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