My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i now understand why vodka
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize