I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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