he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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