The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
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You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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