U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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