OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
