How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
