What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
false alarm, still single
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
