I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
