Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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