did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
