I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
