He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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