dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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