it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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