I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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